Friday, May 9, 2008

Wow, God has really been dealing with me on some things recently. The biggest is on worry. It seems that everything that has come up in recent lessons has been dealing with worry. I have had so much going on that through it all God has shown me that he is going to take care of me and the problem. Whether it is my recent health issues or this whole Air Force thing of hubby's. I know God's hand is in it all and to be patient about the out come. Patience is not an easy thing for me either. I have grown to look forward to my time with the Lord, even though I don't make the time that I should to spend in prayer or the word. Today I had an incredible break through! I was driving around running my errands, listening to KLOVE and talking to God. As I was praying for friends and marriages, God showed me the origin of my issues. I had been so bound by sin, that the devil had convinced me that even though I had gotten EVERYTHING I had prayed for as a newlywed (A loving and kind hubby, great kids and a wonderful church) I didn't deserve to be this happy. So therefore, as I begun to get pulled in by my "fantasies" I sunk deeper into depression which perpetuated the whole addictive snowball ... guilt + shame = doing the destructive behavior AGAIN. I repented to God for my lack of trust and faith right then and there. It feels great to be healthy in every sense of the word!!